Lena Dunham and I


LENA Dumb, man. But I think if I was sitting next to a young professional football player who was completely ignoring me, I may have experienced similar thoughts— that he discounted me as interesting, as a woman—and it would have made me feel bad, I’m just saying. I wouldn’t however, talk about it publicly, as if my thoughts were fact. Of course the most problematic part of this story lies in the fact that Lena Dunham is white and he was black, and that as a white woman, she was telling the story. And who is telling the story is so important; it is such a position of power. (See TedTalk,See History.) Lena Dunham needs more information.

The truth is, many women often feel entitled to men’s attention. (And I know this isn’t always played out noticeably. It’s usually all mental.) We want to be perceived as attractive and viable love interests. The more un-evolved and emotionally immature we are, the more hurt we are when we don’t receive that acknowledgement. I don’t want to relate to the men I meet by wondering whether or not they’re attracted to me. It’s ultra-ridiculous. I still have to consciously rely on my faith and check my thoughts regarding men. I like to think I’ve come a long way.   I want to be seen as human–first. The older I’ve become, I’ve recognized how necessary it is that I am seen as human, especially as a black woman. Not super-human, not on-fleek, not extraordinary, not the exception, not your kind of black woman, just human. See me like that. See me.

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